Following the Butterflies

Sunday, April 11, 2021

        It’s an understatement to say that during these crazy times, everyone’s lives have been turned upside down.  Control is something that has felt very far from reach.  Pandemic or not, I’ve always had a difficult time with letting go of control.  For so long, I felt as if it were imperative to have a plan B, plan C, and a plan D in mind to navigate through the wild cards that life throws my way. Well, the universe had been trying to teach me a lesson for almost a decade, and only now am I beginning to embrace it.  For me, that difficult lesson can be summed up in a single word: SURRENDER. 

        I admit, I can be very stubborn, so the idea of “going with the flow” initially didn't appeal to me.  I always thought that when I set my eye on a goal, especially when it came to my career, there is nothing and no one who can stop me from achieving it.  While determination and resiliency are applaudable values, my stubbornness and my ego metaphorically created horse blinders at the sides of my eyes.  I wanted to achieve my goals how I foresaw them by implementing my thought-through plans.  Yet, every time I would hit a wall and become more and more frustrated with the failed outcomes.  

        Blinded by my own expectations for myself and my constant need for control, it took me years to realize that maybe the universe and God had a much different map of how I would arrive at the final destination than I did.  It was a hard pill to swallow.  I truly used to believe being in control meant that I would lessen any room for error and the unforeseen mishaps.  However, by holding onto the reigns so tightly, I didn’t leave any room for unexpected blessings and possibilities beyond what I had already imagined. 

        Recognizing my fear of surrendering control was simply the first breakthrough of this on-going life lesson.  Re-wiring my brain and reminding myself to keep an open mind and heart has been extremely challenging for me, but also incredibly rewarding.  Trusting the universe (God, or whatever you believe in) and surrendering to the unknown is absolutely terrifying, but I’ve come to realize that there’s also something incredibly magical about letting go of expectations. 

        So . . . with that said, I am excited to see where this new blogging journey may lead me, for I’ve come to embrace the wild side of my gypsy soul.  My heart is now following the butterflies wherever they will go.  

As always, I am sending you lots of love from my heart to yours!

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